One of the largest Biker and Motorcycle Rallies in the west is the Laughlin River Run. You can check out the official website for the run by clicking here.

On Friday after a very rough week, I knew that I had to get away for some stress relief. My doctor has actually ordered me to take a vacation and to take it easy. He actually wrote me a prescription to take a one week vacation! Being a lawyer is a very stressful career choice to say the least, and I am a class AAA personality all the way. Suffices to say, I have not been able to get away from the office for a straight one week in a very long time. Saying that I care about my clients is an understatement!

For me the best stress relief of all is to do a very long motorcycle run. Getting on the open road and clearing the mind keeps a good lawyer sane.

Getting back to my decision to get away for some stress relief; I was contemplating riding to Mount Whitney which is the highest point in the contiguous 48 States, until I saw all of the bikers on the road headed for Laughlin. I instead decided to ride to Laughlin. What the heck right? It is not where you are going it is the ride that counts! This would be one of my famous 2 day runs with a one night stay.

I knew that every room even remotely close to Laughlin had already been sold out for many months prior to the event. Going to the Laughlin River Run website confirmed that everything in town was booked. I did not even bother to try the other online reservation sites, because I knew everything would be sold out! It did not matter because I knew that my favorite Motel 6 in Kingman, Arizona would have rooms. I got online and booked my room. I then called the front desk to confirm my online reservation. This Motel 6 has never let me down in over 10 years.

Kingman, Arizona is the best kept secret in Arizona. Most people literally just drive right by it on the Interstate 40 and not even realize it is there! For the past 10 years, maybe longer, I have always stayed at the same Motel 6 in Kingman, Arizona, while doing runs such as the 4 Corners Rally, now known as the Rally in the Rockies, Sturgis, the Grand Canyon, Monument Valley Utah, and other runs in that direction. You can say that I am a creature of habit when it comes to certain things. The people in Kingman are all very nice, and there is a great restaurant right next door called Calicos that serves up some of the best old fashioned American food that you will ever want.

The Motel 6 is only 33 miles of great riding away from Laughlin, Nevada, and I saved about 300 bucks a night on a room. All of the Hotels and Motels in Laughlin grossly jack up the prices on rooms during the rally. This happens at all biker rallies. They know we will be coming in by the thousands, that we are good people, and that we have money to spend. It is BS that the Hotels and Motels gouge bikers like this, but it is the law of supply and demand I suppose. They know they can get away with it, so the do. I myself try to do everything I can, to not to buy into this gouging, by staying at locations away from main rallies and riding a bit from where I am staying, to the rallies.

Besides, if any of you have ever ridden to a major motorcycle rally, you will be hearing motorcycles all night long! It is kind of hard to sleep if you know what I mean. It’s better to stay a few miles away from the main rally.

Getting back to my ride report……… So here it is on Friday night and I booked a room in Kingman Arizona, for Saturday night. I promptly walked into my bedroom, woke up my sleeping fiancé, and told her “guess what?” She says, “What?” I say, “We are going to be riding to the Laughlin River Run in the morning.” She became very excited, and then went back to sleep. I always have trouble sleeping the night before I am about to take off on an overnight motorcycle run. She is the exact opposite. I did not get to sleep until around 5am.

My ride plan was real simple; ride from Chatsworth, California, to Kingman, Arizona, check into the Motel, empty the saddlebags, take a quick shower, and then ride the 33 miles to the rally in Laughlin, Nevada. There is nothing like going through 3 States in one day.

Sure as shit at 7am on Saturday morning, my fiancé wakes me up with a good breakfast and coffee. She was all suited up and ready to go to the Laughlin River Run! After 2 hours of sleep I was ready to get suited up and hit the road too.

For a 2 day run, I usually do not pack enough stuff to need my Kuryakyn full dresser bag. My Harley Davidson Electra Glide has enough hard saddlebag space to fit everything I need. On longer runs, I use the Kuryakyn full dresser bag.

We got everything packed up and ready to roll to Laughlin. Suddenly, I received a call from a relative who needed me to pick her up and give her a ride because her car broke down and she was stuck. What could I do? I had to help my relative. We ended up not hitting the road until approximately 3:00pm or so.

It was 90 degrees plus in the San Fernando Valley when we left, and I knew that it would be 100 degrees plus during the entire ride through the desert to Kingman. I checked the weather at the weather channels website prior to leaving. It seems that this particular weekend was like a summer weekend. Maybe there is something to this global warming thing after all? I knew that we would need to drink plenty of water to keep hydrated. Drinking plenty of water requires you to stop every 100 miles or so to drink, top off the tank, and to get rid of the water that you have already drank if you know what I mean!

On the road it was very hot to say the least. I mean blazing hot. Did I say it was hot? During hot rides such as this our pit stops are usually longer than normal, because it is important to cool off, and to drink as much water as possible. This run was no different; however we made more pit stops than normal for various reasons.

We ran into some unanticipated road construction on Highway 40, which caused the road to narrow into one lane of traffic in each direction. The speed limit was slowed to 45 MPH. We were behind a Big Rig truck that was only going 35 MPH and there was no way to pass him because the construction crews had put up barriers to prevent passing. I was not in a rush, I prefer to enjoy my rides, but the heat in the desert, while only doing 35MPH was grueling. My Harley Davidson Electra Glide has a built in cigarette lighter, so I was able to have a couple of smokes while doing this 35 MPH thing through the 40. I am not sure how long we were delayed because of the construction, but it seemed like we were delayed at least 30-40 minutes.

What was bizarre to me while riding to the Laughlin River Run was all of the bikers on the road leaving on Saturday. We saw them riding in the wrong direction by the thousands during our entire ride. I always stay at rallies until the last day. As a matter of fact, I always seem to be one of the last persons to leave. This may be the subject for an upcoming article.

We did not arrive at the Motel 6 until approximately 9:30pm. We got everything unpacked real quickly, and jumped into the shower so that we would be fresh when we got to Laughlin. Jumping into the shower was a big mistake because we ended up not leaving the room until approximately 11:00pm. I wrote a ride report on one of my trips to the Grand Canyon which you can find here. If you read this report, you will understand why we were delayed getting out of the room.

We finally got back on the motorcycle for the 33 mile drive from Kingman, Arizona to Laughlin, Nevada at 11:00pm. My plan was for us to hang out at the 24 hour rally until 6:00am, go back to the Motel for approximately 5 hours of sleep, checkout, and then go back to the rally for its final day.

The ride to the rally was great even though we were both hungry. We had not eaten since early Saturday morning. Neither of us like to eat too much food while we are riding because it just kind of sucks riding a motorcycle with your stomach full of food, especially in 100 degree heat! I prefer eating light when I am riding.

We arrived at the rally at approximately 11:45pm and it was packed full of thousands of bikers and motorcyclist from many different States. In Laughlin, the parade goes on all night long. There were thousands of people walking the main drag, and just sitting there watching all of the bikes go by. Even though we were hungry and in need of substance, we did one ubiquitous parade up and down the drag. We then decided to park the motorcycle at the Riverside Resort and Casino and head in for some grub and gambling. There is nothing more fun than gambling with a bunch of shit faced bikers!

We had just arrived after riding 331 miles from Chatsworth to Kingman, and then 33 miles from Kingman to Laughlin; 366 miles approximately including the parade.

The Riverside Resort and Casino was full of bikers and biker babes. I felt like I was at home. As usual, there were thousands of biker babes running around at the rally with their bodily assets being proudly displayed, as well as the ubiquitous booby flashers. Furthermore, and as usual, these babes were running around with a bunch of mugly bikers! It is so nice to be a biker. The parade of biker babes sure does make a man feel glad that he is a man.

My fiancé is a conservative dresser. She looks hot and has a great body, but she is not the type of gal that wears clothes to flaunt her stuff. She does it in private, which is the way I like it! She is into riding shotgun on the back of my motorcycle. She dresses like a biker babe should be dressed for some hard riding.

The motorcycles that I saw this year were unreal, and unrealistic! Some people call this rally the Laughlin Trailer Rally. There is no way in hell many if not most of these motorcycles were ridden to the rally. Some of the customs may be good for bar hopping or short trips, but there is no way in hell that you can really put some mileage on those things without killing yourself. Imagine seeing 1000’s of beautiful bikes at a rally that look like that were never ridden! This is Laughlin; the land of trailer queens. I have never, ever, trailered my motorcycle to any event or rally. I am always proud to show up at a rally with the bugs, dirt, and dust of the road ride on my motorcycle. It shows that I actually rode to the damm thing, and that is what happens to a motorcycle when you ride it; it gets dirty. If I have time, I may throw some polish on my bike to get rid of some of the grime, but on this trip there was no time for any of that.

I for the life of me cannot understand why anyone would want to trailer their bike to a motorcycle rally. In the biker world these people are known as posers or trailer queens. These people do not get the point; it is the ride that counts. Just riding to the event or rally is most of the fun of the event or rally. To each his or her own I guess. I actually feel sorry for the trailer queens as I pass them on the road, because they are missing out on some good riding. Who knows, they may feel sorry for me because I am riding. That is a bizarre paradox huh?

Just for the record, I do not discriminate against any biker; trailer queen or not. If you have had a motorcycle injury accident in California, give me a call or go to my biker website by clicking here.

Getting back to the ride report…………….. My fiancé and I checked our helmets and leather jackets into the Valet. Most people don’t realize that hotels with valet’s will allow you to check in your helmets, T-Bags, Jackets, etc. when you need to. Some hotels have what is called a Bell Hop that will do the same thing. Make sure you give them a good tip, which is precisely what I did.

When we got into the Casino the first order of business was getting some grub. We were hungry to say the least. The restaurant was packed with bikers. We had to wait quite a while for the food, but it sure did taste good. After eating, I went out to check out some of the vendors, and motorcycles, while my fiancé proceeded to play the slots. I think she may be a slot addict.

We played and partied until approximately 6:30am, and then proceeded to ride back to our motel in Kingman, 33 miles away. Even at 6:30am there were motorcycles all over the road. It appeared that most of the riders were starting to head home since it was the last day of the rally. I did not envy the ones that were headed into the Mohave Desert because it was going to be another 100 degree plus day.

Although I had now been up for basically 48 hours with only a couple of hours sleep, the ride back to the motel was awesome. There is nothing more beautiful than dawn as you are riding through the Golden Valley in Arizona, approaching the mountains just above Kingman. Once you get into the ancient mountains, you get a glimpse of multi-color rock formations that are awesome.

We got back to the motel at around 7:15am. My fiancé was beat. She headed straight up to the room, whereas I stayed downstairs to talk to some of the bikers who were leaving and to get a cup of decaf coffee. I did not realize how tired I was; I forgot what room number we were we were in. I had to go to the front desk to get the right room number. The last thing I wanted to do was to start putting my keycard into the wrong room’s lock. I also requested a wake up call for 11:00am. An 11:00am wake up call would give me a little over 4 hours of sleep! I spoke to one gal in the parking lot, who had ridden to the rally by herself. While I was drinking my cup of joe, I noticed her putting T-Bags on her bike and having a hard time of it, so I helped her out. She was trying to slip the T-Bags over her sissy bar without first undoing the Velcro straps. I explained to her that it would be much simpler to just to undo the Velcro straps first, and then re-tighten them once the bag was on her sissy bar and luggage rack. No biggie we got the bag on. There were many other bikers in the parking lot getting ready to either go back to the rally, or head home. I did not want to sleep but I knew I had to.

Once I got to the room, my fiancé was out like a light. I took a quick shower and also hit the sack. I was not asleep for more than a couple of hours when my fiancé woke me up in her special way for a little extra curricular activity which I will not describe here. Suffices to say that I only got 3 hours of sleep rather than 4.

At around 11:00 we hit the showers, packed up our few belongings that we brought for this short trip, and checked out. We headed over to that great restaurant right next to the Motel 6, called Calicos, for a great breakfast buffet. Calicos is an old fashioned American restaurant of the type that is hard to find anymore. It is a unique place that has some great food. Once in the restaurant I found out from our waitress that on the next day, (Monday) it would now be illegal to smoke in bars and restaurants in Arizona. So this would basically be my last day to sit in the restaurant and have a smoke before and after the meal. Nevada has enacted an anti smoking law which now prevents you from smoking in restaurants, but you can still smoke in the Casinos. Anyway, we had a great old fashioned American breakfast buffet. We both ate light because we knew it would be a long day, and that we would be riding home near sundown.

After our meal, we went out to the bike and it was already real hot outside. We rode to a local gas station, topped off the tank with some 91 octane fuel, and started the 33 mile ride back to Laughlin. As usual it was another great little 33 mile ride back into Laughlin. During the ride there were plenty of bikers riding to and from Laughlin on highway 68.

Once we got close to Laughlin there were tons of bikers and motorcycles riding in all different directions. I got excited again. You know how it is.

We pulled onto Casino row and proceeded to parade up and down the main drag to check everything out. It was 100 degrees plus. I noticed that many of the vendors had either already packed up, or were already gone. This was to be expected because it was the last day of the rally and very hot. However, it was kind of unusual to me that so many vendors had already gone. There were only a few vendors left.

We decided to park the motorcycle at the Aquarius Casino Resort. Security there was real friendly and gave me a great spot to park my motorcycle. The Bell Hop took our jackets and helmets, and then we headed in. I wanted to go check out the few vendors that were left at the rally. My fiancé wanted to play the slots. As a matter of fact she was already dropping dollars into the slots before I could say let’s go check out the vendors! She decided to stay in the Casino and play, while I went and checked out the vendors.

All I can say about vendors at motorcycle rallies is that it’s basically the same old thing. You see the same vendors with the same merchandise at every rally. I usually never buy a rally T-Shirt because I never wear them. However, Laughlin 2007 had some real killer looking official T-Shirts. I tried to buy one but all of the vendors were out of my size which is 2XL. I ended up buying a hand rolled cigar, and a new leather “around the belt” quick release key chain holder. It was hot outside, real hot. There were plenty of scantly clad biker babes all over the place, some real good eye candy to say the least.

On the walk back to the Aquarius Casino I went into a gas station to buy some real big bottles of water to re-hydrate myself. If you are going to do walking in the Nevada Desert, you need plenty of water.

Once I got back to the casino, I decided to have a go at playing some Blackjack, and the slots. There were still plenty of die hard bikers left who like to stay to the end of a rally like me. I had a good time and was winning pretty good. They have these new penny slots which let you play all sorts of game lines. It’s basically a 3 dollar bet per roll. I won a bunch of $57 dollar rolls and kept cashing them in. I also won playing blackjack. My poor fiancé was down $200.00, and I was up around $1,000.00. It was not long before she was by my side with those sad eyes asking for money, like she always does. It did not take long for her to lose most of my winnings. Oh well, its all for fun anyway.

The Casinos in Laughlin, Nevada are unique because they are all built along the famous Colorado River. You can walk the boardwalk up and down the casino strip along the river. I took my fiancé for a little walk so she could check out the boardwalk. There were ducks and absolutely huge catfish along the bank of the river. They have all become accustomed to people feeding them I guess. I wish I had my fishing pole with me! It would have been some easy Catfish pickings. While doing the Colorado River boardwalk we met this gal who must have been one of the vendor models. She was fine and basically wearing nothing at all. I had a huge shit eating grin on my face as my fiancé gave me a little love tap with her fist on my shoulder to remind me who I was with! This gal had no flaws whatsoever. Anyway…………..

It was very hot outside and there were a bunch of folks in the river riding those Jet skis. It sure looked like fun, but that would have to be for another time.

We went back into the casino to play for a bit longer, until near sundown, so that we could begin our 290 mile back home in some decent weather. My plan was to leave around 7:30pm. The casino was still full of bikers.

At around 4pm, some gal on the casino loudspeaker began to announce that “if you have a motorcycle parked in the west lot, you need to move it.” I asked a security guy what was going on. He said that they were trying to get all of the bikers to move their motorcycles out of the valet area, and into the main parking area. I asked him if they would tow my bike if I did not move it. He said no, and that it would be ok to keep my motorcycle parked there. This gal kept on making the same announcement every ½ hour from 4pm. It was irritating to me because this was a motorcycle rally, they invited all of us bikers to be there, they knew we would all be on motorcycles, and the rally was not officially over yet! I did not move my motorcycle until we were ready to leave.

At around 7:30pm, my fiancé approached the Blackjack table where I was playing and asked for more money. I looked at my watch and told her it was time to saddle up for the ride home. I put 15 bucks on the table for one last hand; I got a blackjack on the last hand. I went to the cashier to cash in my chips. They have these new $2.50 chips just for people that get blackjacks. I had 4 of them. I realized only after I left the Casino that the gal at the Cashiers cage ripped me off and only gave me 4 bucks for the chips instead of 10 bucks. It is not a lot of money, but it kind of pissed me off that they would rip me off like that. Always make sure that you count your chips when you cash them out at a Casino. I must admit that I was so tired from lack of sleep at this point, and we had such a long ride home, that I just wanted to hit the road.

When we got outside it was already past sundown outside and still very hot. There were still a few motorcycles in the parking lot, but it was pretty much empty. We were amongst the last bikers to be leaving the Laughlin River Run!

I wear a full face modular (flip up) helmet while riding, whereas my fiancé wears a regular full faced helmet. Underneath the helmet I either wear dark UV sunglasses for day or clear UV glasses for night, because I like to open the visor, or flip up my helmet to have a smoke. For some reason, I chose the dark sunglasses, probably because I was tired. I had all of around 5 hours sleep since Friday night and it was now Sunday at dusk. My fiancé specifically asked me why I was putting the dark sunglasses on. I told her that there was still light out and we would be stopping out of town to top the tank off in Needles so I would change my sunglasses out there.

This was a mistake! I took the road directly out of the Aquarius parking lot which heads straight into the Desert. After a few miles you hit a T intersection, and then make a left turn to get to the 40. This was one hell of a great twisties ride through some of the most desolate desert road you could imagine. I would not want to break down out there! It started to get dark real fast and it was hard to see with the dark sunglasses on. I did not want to stop because the side of the road was all dirt, and there were some cagers behind me. I knew it would be safer to just keep on going rather than try to pull over into the dirt or maybe get rear ended by a cager. I should have worn the clear glasses.

Once we hit the 40, I had a choice; I could backtrack to Needles to switch out my sunglasses for my clear lens night glasses, or just get on the 40 headed home. I was tired and beat, I decided to just get on the 40 heading home. As we got on the 40 there was a sign that said, “No services for 55 miles.” Great, I had my dark sunglasses on, it was now almost completely dark, and there was no where to go but West on the 40. I should have listened to my fiancé.

The trick to riding at night with dark sunglasses on is to concentrate on the middle lane divider stripes, and the cars in front of you. This is exactly what I did for the next 55 miles. During this stretch we hit the road construction that we encountered on the way into Laughlin. The Big Rig trucks were going slower than on the way in. I guess this was because we were going uphill this time. It took over 2 hours to get to first gas station stop 55 miles away. I did not enjoy this leg of the run at all. I was tired, eating diesel fumes from the big rig trucks, it was hot, and I had my dark glasses on.

When we finally got to the first gas station, I paid $4.50 a gallon for 91 octane fuel, had a couple of smokes, and sat down for a while. My lack of sleep had finally caught up to me. I was just at this same gas station one night earlier and it was full of bikers heading home. Now it was just us. The place was dead, smack dab in the middle of the desert.

Before we saddled up for the next leg of the run, I put my clear UV glasses on, and we were ready to rock and roll. My fiancé had to be at work on Monday so I had to get her home at a decent hour so she could get some sleep. However, I was so tired, that I made one more stop than I normally would do on this run while riding home, and the stops were longer just so I could coffee up and stretch it out.

While riding to the next stop about 60 miles away or so, I got into my grove and enjoyed the ride. I noticed only one other bike on the road headed in our direction. The only other real traffic was big rig trucks which are always fun. When we hit the next stop, there were finally a bunch of other bikers at the gas station. I got to talking to a few of them. One group of guys were really interested in my Kuryakyn Highway boards. They had never seen them before. Hell, these boards have been out now for well over a year, but it seems that no one knows about them yet. These are the same boards that saved my bike when I went down in January.

When you are doing long distance runs, highway pegs or boards are critical, unless you want to be cramped on the stock boards or pegs the entire time. The Kuryakyn Highway boards are the best I have ever had because they have a have a heel stop on them. You basically put your boot on the board and it will not slide off because of the heel stop. On most highway pegs or boards, it takes some effort to keep your boot on the peg because the wind wants to push your leg off. If they become wet your boot will slip off. With the Kuryakyn Highway boards you do not have to put any effort at all into keeping your boot on the board.

So here we are in the middle of the desert, and I am talking to a bunch of guys with custom Harley’s, and they are all walking up to my Harley Davidson Electra Glide asking about the highway boards. I have been doing long distance runs long enough to want comfort and function over trying to look cool! I guess these guys understood this the hard way. You could tell they were basically new to riding. All it takes is one long distance run for a biker to understand that it is better to have a motorcycle suited for riding, rather than looking! We spent over one half hour at this second stop, and had another cup of hot joe.

We then got back on the road. It was a good run to the next and last stop just northwest of Victorville. The weather on the road got much cooler. It was down to around 70 degrees. When you are bone tired like we were on the way home, the stops are almost as good as the ride.

This is when I had the most bizarre experience ever while filling up my gas tank. There was something wrong with the fuel pump sensor at the gas station. When I was filling up my motorcycle, the gas did kind of like a back blast thing and all of a sudden there was 91 octane gas pouring down my gas tank and onto the left part of the engine and covers. It also poured underneath the seat where the battery is.

I was pissed. I did what anyone would do under the circumstances, I had my fiancé get me some paper towels and I wiped the bike off as quickly as possible. I have since found out that this was the worst thing that I could do because gas is a paint thinner. I ended up putting micro scratches all over my tank with the paper towel. At the time, I did not have a soft cloth, and I was more worried about the hot engine or a spark igniting my motorcycle into a bonfire in the middle of the desert, than the paint. I have since found out that the proper procedure under these circumstances is to run water over the gas spill on the paint until the gas is gone. Thinking back on it now, there was no way to get to water without either pushing the bike to where the water was, or starting the bike which would have probably ignited it into flames. My friends have recommended a substance to rub out the micro scratches out of the clear coat. I forget the name of it now as I am writing this article. If anyone knows of something good to rub out micro scratches out of clear coat, please post a comment below.

We finally got back on the road after waiting for a half hour for the remainder of the gas to evaporate, and to finish another hot cup of joe. It was getting colder in the desert by the minute now. During the summer months this part of the desert is usually real warm at night. At the end of April it gets cold. It was now down to around 60 degrees. We went from 100 plus degrees in Laughlin to 60 degrees in Victorville in only a few hours. The 40 degree temperature change is huge. It felt much colder than 60 degrees.

The last leg of our run was fun, but cold. I always enjoy riding the Pearblossom highway. We got back to Chatsworth at 1:30am early Monday morning. By the time I got the bike unpacked and put away, my fiancé was already sound asleep in bed. As for me, I always take a hot shower after a run like this because it clears out the sinuses from the road dust and makes you feel better.

If we do the Laughlin River Run next year, we will be sure to leave early Friday morning rather than on Saturday afternoon. In the end we did about 740 miles in a period that lasted about 34 hours. Not bad for a little stress relief. Now I have to deal with the micro scratches on my tank. Be extra careful when filling up your gas tank. This could happen to you too!

If you want to read a newspaper article about this years Laughlin River Run, click here now.

By Norman Gregory Fernandez, Esq., © 2007